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Thank you. Hey. Welcome to my half-hour special. Does anybody know who I am? Why did a bunch of people who don’t know who I am show it my special? That’s bullshit. All right. Everybody. This will be fun. I used to live here in Los Angeles on Sierra Bonita. And I had an apartment. And I had … Read more about Mitch Hedberg: CC99 1

I am the shittiest famous person, okay? I’m a shitty famous person. Yes, I know. I always– I can’t believe it’s still going on. I say what I mean. I dress like garbage. Like, my sister and I… And I tried really hard. I’m like, “Okay, like, let’s do our best and tape it up and spackle it down … Read more about Amy Schumer: Shitty Famous

You know what? I don’t know if you guys noticed, but I am what Hollywood calls “very fat.” No, you guys know. You know me. I feel very good in my own skin. I feel strong. I feel healthy. I do. I feel sexy. Also, like, my dad has MS and is in a wheelchair. And it’s, like, I’m just so psyched I … Read more about Amy Schumer: Very Fat

Yeah! What the fuck is up, Denver?! Thank you so much for coming out. Oh, my God. This is such a big deal for me. I don’t know if you guys know this, but this past year, I’ve gotten very rich, famous and humble. Thank you. Thank you. And maybe you caught this. I don’t know who saw this. I … Read more about Amy Schumer 1: Leather & Head

My husband is Asian. Which a lot of people are shocked by, because, usually, Asian-American women who, like, you know, wear these kinda glasses and have a lot of opinions, they like to date white dudes. You go to any hipster neighborhood in a major city in America and that shit is turning into a … Read more about Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 3 – White Dudes

I grew up a lot this past year. Uh, this past year I also got married. Yeah. To a man who now has HPV. Very lucky guy. He gave me something. I gave him something. That will also last forever. No, really. I’m the lucky girl, because before him, I dated a lot of losers. Lots of losers. A lot of … Read more about Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 2 – F*ing Homeless

Um… It’s a very exciting day for me. It’s been a very exciting year for me. I turned 33 this year. Yes! Thank you, five people. I appreciate that. Uh, I can tell that I’m getting older, because, now, when I see an 18-year-old girl, my automatic thought… is “Fuck you.” “Fuck you. I don’t even … Read more about Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 1 – HPV & Hoarding