To me the only thing tougher than the supermarket is the drugstore.
The drugstore’s really challenging because you have no idea what they’re talking about.
You’re just looking at the ingredients…
I had a cold a couple of weeks ago.
So I go in there and I’m looking…
The entire wall is cold medication.
And you can’t understand anything so you’re just reading ingredients.
Did you ever catch yourself reading ingredients in the drugstore?
“Oh, this has .03 tetrahydroziline! It’s a good amount of that.”
But it’s so hard to figure out. Sometimes they have:
this one’s quick acting, this one’s long lasting.
“Hmm, when do I need to feel good?”
“Now or later?”
“I don’t know.”
They always tell you how the medicine works on TV in the commercials.
That’s my favorite part, with the guy that says:
“Here’s the human body” and there’s always this guy…
No face, mouth open, this is how drug companies see the public.
He’s always got the tube coming down here
and then the circle area.
These are the complex inner workings of the human body, I assume.
I’m sure, when you go to the medical school,
they put that up on the board the first day
“Ok, everyone, now remember, you got your tube coming down from the mouth”
“and that goes into your circle area.”
“That’s pretty much all we know.”
“That’s it for today.”
“Don’t miss tomorrow,”
“we’re gonna practice making people waiting in the little room in their underwear”
“and then you’ll all be doctors.”
“That’s all there is to it.”
Then they have to show you the pain… the part where they say:
“Here’s where you hurt.”
Pain is usually represented by some sort of lightning attacking the guy,
glowing redness is popular,
sometimes parts of the guys body will just burst into flames…
Sometimes the whole guy is out of focus.
I never had a doctor saying to me:
“-Are you having any pain?” “-Yes, I am.”
“Are you having any lightning with the pain?”
“Have you been in a fun-house mirror at any time?”
Then they tell you about the pain relieving ingredient.
There’s always gotta be a lotta that.
Nobody wants anything less than ‘extra-strength’.
‘Extra-strength’ is the absolute minimum.
You can even get ‘strength’. ‘Strength’ is out now.
It’s all ‘extra-strength’.
Some people are not satisfied with ‘extra’, they want ‘maximum’.
“Give me the ‘maximum-strength’.”
“Give me the maximum allowable human dosis.”
“Figure out what will kill me and then back it off a little bit.”
Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else?
Who the hell is this guy?
“Clear out, everybody. I’m working with pills up here.”
“I’m taking them from this big bottle and then I’m gonna put them in the little bottle.”
“That’s my whole job.”
“I can’t be down on the floor with you people.”
“Yes, I’d like to get this prescription pills, please.”
“All right, but you wait down there.”
“No one come up here but me.”
There’s a little bit of arrogance in the medical community,
I think we can all live with that.