So, I’m supposed to go to Florida next week after we’re done here.
That’s where my older relatives live. I don’t really wanna go.
Florida…
A lot of old people down there.
You know, they live in those minimum security prisons.
That’s where they put all the old people.
What’s with all the security there? With the guard gate, with that arm coming down,
the guy’s got a uniform, guns…
Are the old people trying to escape? Or, are people stealing old people?
What is the security problem?
I just can’t drive around there. You know how these old people drive…
They drive slow, they sit low. That is their motto.
The state flag of Florida should be just a steering wheel with a hat and two knuckles on it.
And they left that turn signal on since they left the house that morning.
That’s a legal turn in Florida. It’s known as an eventual left.
You can signal this week, turn any following year of your life.
What is that age that old people reach when they decide
when they back out of their driveway, they’re not looking anymore.
You know how they do that? They just go:
“Well, I’m old and I’m coming back.”
“I survived. Let’s see if you can.”
One thing I like about being with my older relatives is it makes me feel like a kid again.
You know, they’re feeding you. You’re trying to steal candy.
Candy was my whole life when I was a kid. That was…
First ten years of my life, I think the only clear thought I had was: “GET CANDY!”
That was it. Family, friends, school, they were just obstacles in they way of the candy.
I’m out for the candy here. I’m just thinking: “Get candy! Get candy!”
That’s why you have to teach kids not to take candy from a stranger
if they’re playing in the playground, because they’re such candy idiot moron brains…
They’re just: “This man has candy, I’m going with him.”
“Goodbye. Whatever happens to me. Get candy, get candy…”
“Don’t go! They’ll torture you, they’ll kidnap you.”
“It doesn’t matter, he has an ‘Old Henry’. I have to take that chance.”
“Get candy, get candy…”