I consider myself something of a sportsman.
I like sporty type things.
Scooba-diving. Did that in Australia… that was a lotta fun.
A great activity where your main goal is to…
not die.
It’s really all I was thinking about the entire day.
“Don’t die, don’t die, don’t die…”
“There’s a fish. There’s a rock. Who cares? Don’t die…”
“Let’s swim, and breathe, and live…”
“Because living is good”
“and dying… not as good.”
So I go with this guy… Mister Scooba-Guy.
He takes me to the store, makes sure I buy everything I need…
I had the waterproof wallet… nylon…
in case we run into a sea turtle that can break a 50.
Waterproof watch…
That’s important, gee… “You’re completely out of oxygen and look at the time.”
“Geez, now I’m dead and I’m late.”
I like these somewhat high risk things: the scooba…
I’ve gone hand gliding, I’ve gone skydiving, I like a little bit of risk…
I don’t know, maybe that’s why I do this…
I saw a thing, actually a study that said:
speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person.
I found that amazing.
Number two, was death.
Death is number two?
This means, to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral,
you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Skydiving was definitely the scariest thing I’ve ever done.
Let me ask you this question in regards to the skydiving:
what is the point of the helmet in the skydiving?
Can you kinda make it?
You jump out of that plane and that chute doesn’t open,
the helmet is now wearing you for protection.
Later on, the helmet’s talking with the other helmets:
“It’s a good thing he was there or I would have hit the ground directly.”
“You never jump out of a plane unless you got a human being strapped underneath you.”
“That’s basic safety.”
There are many things we can point to as proof that the human being is not smart.
The helmet is my personal favorite.
The fact that we had to invent the helmet…
Why did we invent the helmet?
Well, because we were participating in many activities that were cracking our heads.
We looked at the situation…
We chose not to avoid these activities
but to just make little plastic hats
so that we can continue our head cracking lifestyles.
The only thing dumber than the helmet, is the helmet law,
the point of which is to protect a brain that is functioning so poorly
it’s not even trying to stop the cracking of the head that it’s in.
At least the helmet is functional clothing.
I appreciate that.